Sad

Grandma falls sick since two weeks ago. I feel sad watching grandma sleeping on the bed restlessly. She even moan, complaining pain all over her body. Yet, I couldn't do anything.

An ambulance came to fetch grandma at 10am yesterday. After clearing my work, I rushed to GH. My eye soaked when I drove my way to GH. I understand that everyone dies at end of the day. But I just couldn't control my tears.

I arrived at hospital around 2pm. I saw grandma lying in the emergency ward. Grandma was excited when she saw me. She looked better after doctors gave her dripping.

Today, I brought grandpa to hospital to see grandma. Grandma cried when she talked to me. I tried very hard to keep my tears from flowing out :'((((((

I have a lot of mixed feeling these few days. I become very indecisive when dealing with important things. I lose my patient easily and turn myself into a timing bomb. I just couldn't find my guts to do what I want and what I like. I hear a lot of rubbish stories. But these stories make me turned into a more matured person. Now I know how to differentiate between fakers and non-fakers. Hopefully my mixed feeling all well ends well. Grandma is sick. I do not have the mood to think of other matters.